This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
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