I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
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I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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