she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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