remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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