What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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