I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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