i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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