i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
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Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have post one night stand depression
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize