The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
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Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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