My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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