Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize