No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize