3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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