the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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