so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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