Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize