Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize