you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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