Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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