Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize