My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize