dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize