On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
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