I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize