After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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