I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize