i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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