The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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