I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize