I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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