Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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