Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Did I show you my penis last night?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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