just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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