:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize