That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
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don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
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I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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