I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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