Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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