You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize