New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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