I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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