If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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