She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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