Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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