so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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