if you like me you must not know who I am
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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