hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize