Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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