You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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