so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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