filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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